Lady Chastity

This pampered Plaza Princess took me out for drinks to negotiate what was supposed to be an LTR. We had about  four drinks (I had a few more than that because she was driving me bugshit) as I watched her treat the wait staff like  they were lesser people for waiting on her. She kept referring to our waiter, whose name is Riley, as The Waiter to  his face and snapping to get his attention. Riley seemed like a nice kid, introduced himself twice, wore a giant  nametag that read Riley, and was highly entertaining. However, the asshole that I rode with kept reminding him that  he was the waiter. “Thanks for the recommendation, waiter!” “You’re so funny, waiter!” “Could we get another  round, waiter?” After the first fifteen minutes I made it into a drinking game. The Princess never picked up on it, but  I like to think that Riley “The Waiter” did. After my sixth-ish drink I finally threw up on Plaza Princess’s shoes and  walked home. 

I worked at a Texas Tom’s on Troost for a day. The cook kept pissing in the parking lot because we didn’t have a  bathroom and the cash register was a calculator that you had to tilt towards the sun in a certain way to get it to work.  This first day on the job was an accident. I brought in my information to fill out paperwork and they said they  wanted to train me that day after making me give the definition of ghetto. Apparently, the last car in the drive through had called them ghetto and it resulted in me standing there struggling to find a way to make it sound like a  good thing. These people paid me with a medium root beer for the day of “training.”  If you’ve been reading my blog, you know that I’ve worked some craptastic jobs to support myself. I thought, and  you probably agreed, that I’d sunk as low as I could go.  And then there was Craigslist…